Padma, My Dear Friend

On my usual errands by local train, I take the opportunity to interact with the fellow travellers. This has become the part of me while I was working with some organisations for special people. These interactions have given me chances to meet, philanthropists, business women, lawyers, teachers, students, doing nothing people and some really special talented humans.

I chose a non-peak time to travel towards South Mumbai. The ladies Dabba has few college going girls on one corner muckraking. Passing by few stations, the coach got filled. Crossing by a main station, I noticed facial expression changing on few women face. Soon I heard a male voice asking "May I sit here?” For a moment i startled, seeing a woman in her best of curls, beautifully draped in brown colour saree, and a red bindi adorned her. She sat beside me pulling the handbag against her. The fellow passengers showed their displeasure in various forms. 

My attempt of sketching her

Now that got me a chance to talk to her. Stage by stage I made her comfortable with me to talk what she is. Now you read a SHE in my statement but read male voice somewhere above?! Yes! Padma (the She) is a Transgender. She neither blessed us nor cribbed on her transgender issues. We spoke a lot about train, Mumbai what not. The question answer session ended in about our profession. Padma is a TEACHER in a school for BLIND at the outskirts of Mumbai. I was the happiest person, but somewhere the pain struck me when she stressed on why she chose that category of students.

Padma is a trained Primary school Teacher, but unfortunately, our great institutions did not allow her to join for the worry of kids getting scared. The school currently she is working for accepted her for the reason that the students cannot see. She explained a lot on what is she facing as an educated transgender human in the society. I went short of words, mouth zipped, looked at my ladies opposite to me, looked with all anger and pain of their ignorance to her. 

For a moment, I wished the whole world could go blind to gain equality!

The Feminist Man

Two months back, the world wished the entire Papa’s ‘A HAPPY FATHER’S DAY’. With the flow I too wished my Daddy one; the very next reply from him was “there is something called Father’s day too, I just thought Mothers stole all the importance of raising a child.”

Sharing this incident with one of my bestie, he too exclaimed “see we don’t want any appreciation!”

Apparently it’s true, a lot of women around argue on this; the importance of being a girl, a lady, a Mother, a Grandmother .But the real importance of being a woman is not understood by the woman itself. What she has to be with, live with and the limits she has to fly with.

Looking at our ancestral roots, at least in the Indian context, we can see the importance of gender equality there. At every major incident, the lady has been given her status approval, her dignity is safe guarded, she had been more adventurous and live than women today. What has caused this change in them? The education? Lifestyle? or the family?

No! Not at all, the matters were there then too. She was much educated then than today’s standards. She has traveled, worked, and raised her family. Maybe just few, but she was in her shell, the shell of love, passion and protection.

The argument on feminism, the women rights sometimes have been a burden to women itself. But is the “Feminism” the only solution? Is it like the cast based reservation in India?Feminism had turned out in to a community of male hater. Rather some women are ill-using this tool to enjoy domination over males. The tendency to look at the men with same eyes has developed. Trust whom, friendships, I work more than him, or I get paid less comparing to him, these have just been regular in discussions in social media.

When you raise an argument, ‘that all men are the same, they think of raping you’, does your Father, brother or husband think that way, or maybe the guys gang whom you roam around in anytime.

My friend quoted “The main problem here are the feminist groups who are putting all men in the same box. the continuous nagging of being potential rapist or continuous targeting the men will someday make even the good men also stop thinking towards equality. Men will get irritated and the whole movement to make out context free of gender discrimination will just stall.”

Reading the above sentences, am sure my “female” friends are going to raise the question on how I could think about such topic against feminism. The importance lies everywhere, for everyone. But hoe that importance is to be used in what context is what nails the definition of being feminist!

I agree, we need gender equality, everywhere!  Even I fight for it, but think about were to fight and when! Not just on every word or sentence a Man speaks.

Sanyasi...The Life Stage of Renouncer!!

For a moment when I say Sanyasi , "long tangled hair, bhasma splattered all over the body,set of rudrakashas and a saffron colored clothing draped around" OR "random person who became famous with their magical talents and luxuriously living with their curing hugs and business" any Indian would picture anyone of the two.

The thought of being a Sanyasi, laying everything down makes me faint and mad. I can survive a world without latest gadgets spend some good time understanding inner soul,butbeing detached from inner luxuries of my body is anything more to be asked for!

Is it going to be the financial independence ,that bring peace of mind and strength but I believe it's just not leaving all the luxuries behind,mere emotion and enthusiasm will not serve you much in the path of renunciation.Recently,My colleagues sister,young,smart and intelligent chose to be a Jain Saint. It was a mere shock for her family and of course me.

Is it that simple for a girl who lived a luxurious life to leave all this and get absorbed to the universal soul.

For a moment Am dumb stuck,May be the thought of a young child letting of their attachments or the though of how hard the process is going to be..

SOUVENIRS

Browsing through old photographs, not very much old though made me rewind the past..Categorizing it to good or bad is the very next step.It was just more or less a moment to realize how many human beings still do exist in my life or not..temporary or permanent..Many who i have avoided being in contact or they have avoided being with me.
Reasons are many..ego,attitude,external factors internal factors..
I have missed many in my life with these many factors..i regret for loosing them for someones happiness..Am I not the looser here!Others might have a hundred reasons to loose me..My behavior  or let it be anything, some I do care,some I don't!
Had a certain past which had made me pull out certain good people.Finding an alternative for them is not ever easy.They can loose you when they have found an alternative or they get into a different better company.I tried the same technique,but never could find the perfect company who could understand the real me!U feel the ping when the daily conversations end,meet ups become rare or any sort of contacts die off!
Not an easy task to get rid of those souvenirs u had with them..photographs can be torn apart but not your mind..

Dream not True!

She has never been looked dull.The beauty always stayed with her for ever,the bright kajoled eyes and the red bindi always added an extra essence to her beauty.the classic sarees draped around made her look more special.As time passed by she turned more beautiful and classic.

But now when i walk into that pitch darkness of life pushing out others to sides,i feel the beauty has vanished.the smile is no more.the bindi no more makes her beautiful.it has faded away to the light peach.she has turned dark,the bright eyes have been shut.they no more see the world.

the change from bright sarees to the draped white cloth has got that man down!he is been cornered staring at me.the eyes raising the question who for me next.
the weakest man i could see in life.he sits blank speaks okay to who condolence him.i walk near him hold him around..
he hold my hands tight. holds me around..what should i tell him..i have just one duty to support him.
i stare at her why did you go away leaving us..on my knees sit beside her to get her back..stare at her lost beauty preparing my mind to reality not to loose out my tears in front of him..need to gain my strength but the lost beauty washes my eyes..

my eyes get moist..i wake up to a new world..hope not that to be true..

Rainy Emotions!

Rains!the wonder sense of refreshing Earth!

they say it refresh your souls..

the phase of enjoyment..

every single drop seems 

telling a story it means

but some are far way to

get along with the untold stories..

they speak out your heart 

they long for the untold part

Now the feel of lonely heart!

the rains seems to be a blast..

the long awaited hands

lost it for others..

not the happiness of yours

the happiness of others

the thought of living

living for others

why do we do that!

the roads wet,the green around..

i stare at it,the loneliness

the longing heart is no more..

the selfishness has crossed me

but not for me..

the smile of others..

i look at them..

the soul is no more the same

its a piece of matter closed

enough not to open again

i lost it again

for someone again..! 

The long lost LOVE!

Do You Have a Long-Lost Love?

A path that your life might have taken except for circumstances? Someone you'd like to have made a life with, but it just didn't work out?
Have seen couples rejoining hands after years and form the best and amazingly lovable once.
Seeing them just a random strike of feelings passes by!

How strong that bond can be!Even after the big bang break up many stay attached,may be not through the physical means or even intellectually!But there is something which still holds them..
The break up maybe for anyone or for any kind off reasons valid or invalid is a second thought which might walk back even after a long time.

You try moving on.the very first thought would be to shift the environment you are living now!A new job,house ,can be anything to forget the past! This can be a shift just to get it away when your eyes are wide open;once its closed,the pitch blackness will rewind all to the past..She might turn back and smile at you or even your thoughts might wander why don't we form that relation back!Why don't you even turn back to me..Give a rethought!

we move on we try overcome that failure or even be working hard to get things out!We walk into let our talents out.

Still we long to get that long lost Love's support beside us!just hope she could have sculpted me into a better human!Maybe no one else could match her generosity of spirit, warmth, intelligence, and love of life.

Maybe later you might crave to hear her back..Just for her words as the support you need..she might have felt the same but no more a relation!the past has taught you a lesson.Enough of the sufferings you went through..The safe long distance has added more romance to both of them!They might be dating even different persons the whole hear ted love may not last long or even might end in marriages!But not necessarily it should be so special like the very first long lasted love..Still the heart craves for that special love,the warmth of that is never been replaced!